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From the three friends of mine who have done it, I know you have to be a constructing genius and an entrepreneur, and I'm merely competent and loath to hustle.īut even in writing stories for money, the way I was told to go about it was to submit to small nonpaying literary magazines, then get enough published that you could get a story collection with a small press, and then - on the basis of that or of whatever small-press novel came next - get a teaching job at some obscure college no one much cared for. My life up to this point had taught me two things: (1) All jobs are agonizingly, intolerably boring except the job of writing (either stories or puzzles) and (2) It's impossible to make money writing stories or puzzles. On the other, I realized that even in this simple act - walk across campus and say hi to some Hallmark rep - I had to face my own worst enemies: my brain and my will, both of whom were skeptical of exerting even this much effort. Hallmark, eh? So that was on the one hand.
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Try to enjoy a long, unrewarding life of Plan B. For those few years where I had a regular excuse to write it, life had been thrilling.īut when I graduated with an MFA in fiction and looked around, I asked the universe, Where can I get a job writing silly poems? And the universe had answered, Unless you can time-travel back to the thirties and kill Ogden Nash and take his place, you're probably out of luck. It was fun to stretch my brain and come up with a joke about premodern literature* and then share it as an inside joke with people who would actually get it. It's not like anyone publishes this stuff anymore. The words seemed to beg to be played with, and there was no other venue to share my creations in once they were finished. When my undergraduate English class read Crime and Punishment, I wrote:Īnd when my Reformation class studied a particularly grim chapter in medieval German history, I wrote: Then in college at the University of Arizona, I suddenly, oddly, developed a habit I'd never evidenced before: I would come into class twenty minutes early when no one was there and anonymously write a poem on the board about whatever we were studying. You could say it was the first time I read a dictionary for fun. Seuss book I remember keeping with me as I fell asleep, back in kindergarten. In that book, everything seemed to dance: language, letters, even the very concept of nature. And then each letter goes on to illustrate an imaginary animal ("Floob is for Floobooberbabooberbubs").
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Seuss book was On Beyond Zebra! It posits a series of made-up letters beyond the usual alphabet: letters like floob, yuzz, quan, and thnad. I've been writing poems ever since I first read Dr.